I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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