Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
