never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
