You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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