Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
vagina is talking i cant
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
