hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
