So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
