Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So vagazzling was a success
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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