and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
