So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
