I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
