I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
