hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
