I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
