it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
