I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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