There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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