It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
