soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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