Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
