i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
