why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
