Just cropdusted the office
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
