All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
