Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
