Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
