I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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