he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
