either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
