Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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