forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
