can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
