So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
