The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
