I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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