I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
