I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize