how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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