loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
