that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
