i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
