I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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