Where is the hickey?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
