her vagine was all disorganized.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
