Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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