You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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