Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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