Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
