I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
