Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Enjoy the penises
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize