She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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