OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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