i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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