Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
