I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
