yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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