Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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