dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
