He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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