If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dick very happy bro
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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