there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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