today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
