what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
